SPB | Sentient Piss Bag | Part Two




Hello again, it's me, Rost'd. Around this time last year I posted a photograph that featured a bag of urine which was found in the back of my mathematics class. A few days later I posted a follow up article that touched upon the observed sentience of the bag in question. You can read that article here or listen to the audiobook version here.

At the end of this post I promised that I would post about any further events that take place, however for the past year the bag had seemingly gone off the grid. Until last week.... . . . , END OF SENTENCE. It all started at about 2:37:46 AM on January 9th 2021. I was torn out of my really nice dream where I was for a few brief moments, genuinely happy, by a strange sound originating from my bathroom. At first I shrugged the sound off, figuring it was just my buddy Tony taking a little peewee, he had drank two glasses of water that night.

I decided to try and go back to sleep but there it was again, the strange noise. I got up out of bed and walked to my bathroom. As I got closer and closer I began hearing the noise a little more clearly. It sounded as if a man was struggling.

"Oh no! Tony is in trouble!" I exclaimed, really scared.

I quickly ran over to the bathroom and ripped the door off its hinges, splinters flew all over as I snapped it in half over my knee. I quickly cleaned up the mess and then ran into the bathroom, but I was too late. In front of me lied Tony's corpse. I was really freaking out at this point because Tony usually isn't dead, so seeing him dead got me scared. My eyes drifted towards the toilet, and in an instant I went from scared to really wanting to poop myself. In the toilet there was a yellow liquid, with a few fizzling bubbles... Piss.

The horror of seeing my buddy Tony dead, combined with the realization that the piss bag was back nearly sent me into neuro-paralysis, however I was really brave and managed to leave the room, only suffering mild brain death. I quickly went to call the police utilizing my cellular device however I ended up getting distracted and playing Clash of Clans and scrolling through TikTok intermittently for about 7 hours before falling asleep.

Once I woke up, I kind of lost interest in the whole "Tony being dead" thing, and decided to get in touch with the Nathan Mazzapica Research Team (NMRT) to see if they had unraveled any mysteries related to the piss bag or discovered if its a single entity, or part of a larger problem.

Ring ring.... ring ring... my phone rang...

"Hello? Can I call you back I'm heading to the bathroom right now," one of the scientists answered.

"Number one.... or number... two?" I questioned.

"Uhhh, both?"

Shit.... . .. .

I hung up the phone immediately and proceeded to smash it several times with a cool looking rock I had found not too long ago while walking around some random parking lot. The piss bag's influence had managed to breach the minds of even my top researchers. I truly am alone in this investigation.

It was at this point that I remembered Tony had died, so I decided to check on him to see if he was ok. He wasn't. I knelt down beside him and examined his lifeless body for a bit, trying to determine the cause of death. That's when I noticed something... in his mouth there was an empty bag with a hole poked into it, and leaking out of his mouth was... piss... I clenched my fists and anger, that fucking bag of piss killed my best buddy Tony. Suddenly yet again I felt pressure build up in my urinary tract.

I had to pee. That fucking scary piss securely stored in a small plastic zip-lock bag killed my (second) best friend, and now it was taunting me. The silly sound of piss hitting the water in my toilet bowl not only provided some mild comfort from the fact that the piss bag was on the hunt for me, but provided me the inspiration I needed to continue my mission of freeing the Earth of this Lovecraftian horror once and for all.

Should I survive long enough to do so, I will do my best to keep you guys updated. In the mean time, if any of you happen to come across a bag of piss please remember to immediately stomp on it.

Wish me luck, I'll need it.


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